Stuck with that last minute gift? Convinced that a gentlemen friend is a closeted sissy who’s too timid to come out? – Give them a helping hand with that special gift of a femme name. No Christmas wrapping required or laborious trooping around stores – simply carefully choose the most feminine name you know that successfully sums up your sissy sluts demeanour. Then write their new name on their pretty Christmas card (something with a fairy please) and when they say you’ve made a mistake, watch their face go crimson as you explain your reasoning – A sissy name for a sissy girl.

Now forever refer to her as a she or call her new name during everyday conversation. Friends will soon catch on and your sissy friend will almost cry with humiliation and yet is likely to moan with excitement (no doubt in her pink, frilly panties). If you’re feeling particularly generous you could even buy them a necklace and charm with their new name or a much sought after membership to the House and follow their progress to sissy-hood.

Own up! we’ve all got one: a sissy slag story about the morning after, when lady luck changed her mind. A universal tale of bum-clenching sissy humiliation, knowing looks, public transport and the inappropriate click-clack of spike heels at 7am on a weekday.

Last summer, after a serious fancy dress party, I had a mortifying stumble home at 8.45 in high heels, torn fishnet tights, smeared make-up and a skirt no wider than a belt. I looked a total sissified mess. All great fun the night before when shielded by other party goers dressed as vicars and tarts but rather less appealing when on your own amongst normally dressed commuters. I simply hadn’t factored in the stagger home the next day.

But lately something has happened. The “morning after” look has morphed from ignominy to desirability – the walk of shame has become chic. At least for the cream of our trendy youth, worldwide. Just check out your cities tabloid and there they are. It appears, for them at least, the walk home in night-before clothes – chipped-varnish, unbrushed hair and a squirt of eau de sex is cool.

This can only mean one thing. At last you can be proud of partying all night. Sissys… wear your shame with pride. Being a little rough around the edges is at last a good thing. Look like you are living a little and have fun.